On Gaslighting

Gaslighting….it doesn’t just happen to women.

“On whatever axes we experience oppression, our best qualities are fed back to us as weaknesses to disguise our own tremendous power and size from ourselves.”

Dating Tips for the Feminist Man

I keep having the same conversation over and over.

That thing where someone undermines your perception of reality, and says you’re crazy, or denies that something is happening that is in fact happening?

picard-four-lights

When people we love and trust do that to us? It really messes with our minds.

Over time, or when it is about important things, this experience of having words deny reality can fundamentally shatter our sense of self-trust and our ability to navigate reality.

“There’s a word for that,” I say, hearing yet another such story from a female friend. “It’s gaslighting.”

Friend says “What’s gaslighting? I’ve never heard of that.”

“It’s when someone undermines your trust in your own perceptions and you feel crazy because your instincts and intuition and sometimes even plain old perceptions are telling you one thing, and words from someone you trust are telling you something different.”

“Oh.” (looks it up).

“Oh,”…

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The first steps in not being racist

Interesting article on Quartz:

“White fragility” refers to white people’s low emotional tolerance for discussing topics of race and racism.

The term was coined by Dr. Robin DiAngelo in a 2011 article discussing her experience with white people in anti-racism trainings. She defines it as “a state when even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves.”

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APS will offer Ethnic Studies

As reported in the ABQ Journal, all high schools in the Albuquerque Public Schools district will offer ethic studies.

The planning process began last week with a three-day workshop that brought about 40 teachers and community members together to brainstorm curriculum possibilities.

Attendees discussed concepts like unconscious bias, as well as books and movies that present Hispanic, African-American, Native American and Asian culture, throwing out titles like “The Karma of Brown Folks,” “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” and “Reservation Blues.” One suggestion even featured a little-known Scandinavian minority. The course will be designed to cover a broad array of racial and ethnic groups.

Currently, Albuquerque, Del Norte and Highland are the only high schools with courses focused on minority experiences – Chicano studies and Mexican-American literature at Albuquerque and Highland; Native American studies at Del Norte.

Under the new plan, every high school will offer ethnic studies as an elective option for juniors and seniors.

 

 

A way to support Ferguson activists

Darrick Smith was one of the amazing activists that came and spoke in Santa Fe about his experience before and after Ferguson. Darrick Smith has been a gentle warrior in this movement. He started a freedom garden to provide food to the neighborhood while also providing a way to involve and engage neighborhood kids. He created this garden with few resources and only a desire to plant and give back. His car is down and that makes it nearly impossible for him to continue this invaluable work. Please consider supporting Darrick and his garden by clicking here.